I ntelligent
T alented
C harming
H ell of a woman!
Home » Archives » April 2008
i will miss them mightily, they my dearest wacettes
April 26, 2008 
sophea and chantouen - with piercing eyes and dark looks of mayan princesses in chandelier earrings, garment workers , who missed the speaking engagement in new york because the embassy people couldnt believe that such "lowly" insignificant character can be a guest speaker in an international conference (chantouen)
socheata - sagacious and mature, in hip jeans and layered tresses, brought to us by the salesian nuns to be trained in filing and reception but ended up collecting information and writing case studies on the situation of garment workers that led to numerous media interviews including BBC and CNN.
dragging my feet
April 24, 2008two and a half weeks to go before i leave. haven’t contacted the movers, neither done with sorting out stuff to bring or dispose. how not very me… this dragging-my-feet. how not very me too, this being apprehensive about leaving and moving on despite the thrilled anticipation of what could be in a new place. having lleft home and lived in boarding homes since i was ten, my life has been punctuated by many movements. i thought that i have learned detachment.
the wacettes
the wacettes — called so because they are the twenty-something gorgeously smart, beautiful and impassioned women of the Womyn’s Agenda for Change or WAC. atypical cambodian girls, they are the taking-no-shit-from-anyone variety, challenging an unjust order, constantly occupied with such formidable issues as unfair trade, debt, globalization, violence against women, sex workers’ and women’s rights. they have organized speak-outs and learning sessions among garment workers and sex workers, crafted information and awareness raising materials, engaged in international fora, dialogued with parliamentarians and such big potatoes in the country with the zeal and commitment that would put to shame their Cambodian elders - program technocrats of mainstream development organizations. (more…)
my symphony too
April 20, 2008“To live content with small means, to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich; to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly; to listen to the stars and birds, to babes and sages, with open heart; to bear all cheerfully, do all bravely, await occasion, hurry never; in a word, to let spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common. This is to be my symphony.` - William Henry Channing
moving on
April 10, 2008today’s my birthday, perhaps the last one i’m spending in cambodia. next year it will be in mongolia. i’m not sure if God is simply giving me a break or opening a new chapter in my life. whichever the case, i hope that the mongolian experience will be as exciting, enriching and rewarding as the cambodian one has been.
earlier posts
April 9, 2008In transit, UB in two days and updates – earlier posts transferred from another blog spot that i’ve discontinued.. no time to manage.
in transit
April 6, 2008here i am sitting in a beijing hotel coffee shop, killing time until my flight to genghis khan country is called early evening tonight. by this time, had the schedule been followed, i would be lunching with amber — probably on mongolian barbeque. but no, ulaanbaatar weather is not cooperating. it couldn’t be heavy snow and low visibility that won’t allow the plane to land. it’s the onset of spring, according to fellow stranded travellers. most likely there’s too much wind blowing from — where? - the gobi dessert?
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UB in two days
day 2 in ulaanbatar. arrived the other day close to midnight to a -12oC temperature. boots, pashminas, thermal undies, cardigans and downs feather-filled winter coat are doing very well. yesterday and today were chilly but nice and sunny.
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update
it’s been more than a week since my last posting. not only that i was busy, but also because my laptop conked out. must be the power surges in UB.
in any case, it has been a wonderful mongolian experience, although in my eight days in the country, í didn’t manage to get a taste of THE real authentic mongolian barbeque. what i did discover, and which i became totally hooked on, was a kind of traditional lamb soup called "bantan" - a thick lamb stew made of thin slivers of lamb and wheat flour to thicken the soup. kinda like arroz caldo but more savory… very hot and filling. eaten with new-found friends, it’s a nourishing comfort food to warm chilled bones and lonely soul in a new environment.
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the end
April 5, 2008this would be the third friday in a row of no show. coward. this should make it easier to let go. then go….
because i’m brain-fried but silently exploding
so true and wisely so …. from someone called
…. Delicious Ambiguity … who wrote the following
- I knew that you were special when we talked that first time and there isn’t anything that has changed my mind. You don’t know it but you are one of the most wonderful people in my life and though I know we don’t talk as often as we should, I appreciate you more than you’ll ever know.
- Always make your absence felt in such a way that somebody misses you but not your absence be so long that somebody starts learning to live without you.
- Sometimes it’s not the possibility of rejection that frightens us. It is the thought of not knowing what happens next once you both find out that you feel the same way…
- it hurts to love someone when you can’t tell that someone what you really feel.. sometimes you get hurt without him knowing.. you get jealous yet you have no right to feel that way.. you want his time yet you are not in the position to demand for it… your heart is breaking in silence.. but despite of this, you continue to love because somehow in this hurtful love, there are still happy thoughts and simple moments to look forward to.. even if it means being just a mere friend…
- what is unconditional love? it’s when the person you love tears you into pieces and yet you still smile and say, "you know what, you don’t have to love me back.. i will be okay".. [ uggh! martyr ! — joy]
- If saying goodbye hurts so much, why do we say goodbye? Because it hurts so much more to keep holding on to something that isn’t there. Like you’re hanging off a ledge and someone is jumping up and down on your hands but you still can’t let go. Like when you’re little and you’re being tickled…you shout for it to stop because it’s torture, but then you go back for more, because somehow being tickled makes you feel safe and special. Holding on is like that…but the torture is painful…and it doesn’t make you smile. That’s why we’re supposed to say goodbye. That’s why we’re meant to let go…
It doesn’t take a reason to love someone,
but it does to like someone. You don’t love
someone because you want to, you love someone
because you are destined too. It’s because you
fall in Love with them, that you then try to
find a reason, but you always come up with
the answer, No reason!
Should I Smile Because You’re My Friend Or Cry Because Thats All We’ll Ever Be??
it`s hard to wait around
for something that you know will never happen..
but it`s harder to stop
when you know it`s everything you`ve always wanted
its hard to let go of someone who has touched your life, but it hurts even more to say goodbye to someone who was never yours and yet changed your life the most
now i know that the worst feeling in the world is not losing the one that you love, but loving the one that you could never have.
how will you know that your love has faded? ….. when it doesn’t hurt as much anymore.