.... this is depression born out of boredom... maybe. 

lollipops turned into cigarettes,the innocents turned into sluts,homework goes in the trash, the mobile phones are being used in the class.

detention becomes suspension,soda becomes vodka,bikes becomes cars,kisses turn into sex.

remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground, when protection meant wearing a helmet...

 (wait, there's more) 

we didn't have disco bars then; dances were held at the plaza or an open space in the middle of the village, where the dancing area was coralled with split bamboo  and coconut leaves.  "kicking up a dust" literally happened when fast music was on and  watusi and freestyle "maskipops"  moves were showcased on the dirt dance floor.

this was the village way, where folks were poor  but were always generous, pleasant and enviable in their simple and uncluttered lifestyle. 

" ..idol, absent ko kagahapon kay namayle kami sa minapasok...na agahan kami kay waay salakyan,,waay gali galing ang central ti waay mga trucking pa bato..naghapit kami sa bug-ang, namahaw tubo(pang-us), kay ubos na kuarta namon..dulhog kami sa may linasgasan kag nag swimming sa talamnan..deretso pa dian-ay,sa kakapoy daw mapatay..dulhog sa inangtan..bisan tulog ga dalagan...at last nakakita karo galing hasta makiling lang, okey pa rin basta makitipid tikang..daw tatlo ka oras nga baklay bag-o namon malambot ang poruk marang..ay salamat malapit na lang..pot..pot.. pot..busina sang salakyan, bagbalikid namon..marlyn line sa minapasok gikan!!..pamangkot sang driver(bebs), to sakay ka ang sabat ko....###ta nga bag-o ka lang?? ti mamayle pa ta liwat??"

.".ang mga tsiks bisan gab-i ga idlak ang buhok..inusap nga lubi ang shampoo..tapos brilyantin ang perfume..tapos ka tsinelsa lang..kun kis-a kun ga sa-ut kamo kalit lang mauntat kay kaayuhun anay ang tsinelsa kay nahukas..pro okey man lang gihapon a..das okeyy,,basta may gakos a..ha-ha-ha..sigi binayle!!"

[idol,   i am late because we went dancing in minapasok, where we were till morning, because we couldn't get a ride with the sugarcane trucks to barrio bato ... it was not milling time... we stopped in bug-ang for a bite of sugarcane, that was all that we could afford for breakfast...went down to linasgasan, bathed in the field … straight off to dian-ay, dead tired by then...sleepily jogged to inangtan ... at last hitched a ride in a cart but only till makiling, okay all the same to save a few steps… hiked for three more hours to reach purok marang, thank goodness we’re almost there… was that a car horn?  Yes! Marlyn line from minapasok…. Bebs the driver asked, want a ride? S**b why only now?  will we go to the dance again?  ….    The girls’ tresses were gloriously shiny even at night, shampooed with the milk of  shredded coconut and brilliantine perfumed…  at times stopped in mid-dance to fix  her flip flops…that’s okay… I get to hug…]  

during the daytime, the sponsor would go around town to ---  "ricorida"-- announce with a megaphone, "gina imbitar ang tanan nga maglantaw sang sine karon sa gab-i sa plaza...ang salida si tony ferrer as agent x 44... "   

people from nearby barrios and haciendas would walk kilometers for the treat of watching dolphy, chiquito, gloria romero, susan roces, swashbuckling fernando poe jr or joseph estrada.  or were nora aunor and tirso cruz III movies also shown?  my memory escapes me... it was years ago, or maybe age is catching up with me? 

then rama theatre came, sandwiched between ah teng's bakery and dr. gonzaga's house along the main street. an adult shelled out 30 centavos (?) for a seat in the "palco" (balcony ). but one can listen to the dialogue through the speakers set up outside. that i suppose eventually killed the darigold  "salidas."

television sets were owned by a handful and the local government  put up one on the plaza stage.  so people enjoyed chips, hawaii five-o, mission impossible.  i'd go watch and pine for "kuruda" this cool intellectual-looking japanese tech-y guy with a very minor role in a spy series that i don't remember. 

that plaza is a far cry from what it is now. tita day (bless her soul) and tita bebing sonia transformed it into a haven of flowers. today it boasts of the Siete, an icon of the age when sugarcane was brought to the central by the "bagon" freight train cars.  a "tali ambong" (covered gym) sits on the old basketball court, where girls swooned over gab pulido, martin francisco, boy funtanar, atlas lopez and other sagay warrior hunks. the mahogany trees and rizal's statue are still standing though. 

i haven't been there for so many christmases. but i was told that for some years now, at christmas, it is all aglow. enough to get me misty-eyed....

 sagay plaza xmas 09

its that time of the year when people take stock of  things that came to be, of those that should have been or might have been, to count the blessings so to speak.  I count mine with a deeply grateful heart, for the many that God littered my path with. 

one wishes it could have been better --- maybe so, for all the tragedies that befell the Filipino people and millions of hapless others across the globe.  on the other hand, one could also be thankful, for it could have been worse -- there could have been more turbulence in one's life, more natural calamities, more conflict, or no let up in the global economic crisis.

no excuses here for the bad decisions, ineptness, and selfish agenda of those in power.  rather, a great admiration for those who continue to plod on -- to protest against injustice, to protect and service the weak, to pursue their dreams, to survive.

my 2009 was a major milestone.  it  took me on a journey away from the familiar, it shattered my otherwise la-di-dah existence, i had to cope with solitude never experienced before and bear the sleepless nights of disquiet, i learned to live without the frills.

all the same it was BEAUTIFUL and won't trade it for anything…ever….

because  it nailed home how  absolutely amazing House of  Joy is, that network of  friends  who have become a family.  while some are now scattered across continents the  ties that were woven  in the land of the Angkor kings were kept strong.  I missed them hugely, hugely, hugely.

because I could have languished in Mongolia, but was instead  cradled in the warmth of the pinoys-in-mongolia as well as among mongolian and non-mongolian colleagues. I also miss them mightily.

because, thanks to facebook (seriously !) i have reconnected with friends and family who have been long lost.

because my immediate family of five and numerous expanded kin, are generally well and healthy, give or take one or two deaths and serious ailments.

because new dimensions in my professional career have been discovered, exciting avenues were opened.

i close my eyes and open my heart to you all and to God, to say THANK YOU even as I seek forgiveness for the hurt that I may have caused along the way. 

may the new year bring us renewed hope, energy and countless blessings.

i know that it may take a while to get you out of my system. i don't think i will forget - it was much too good an experience to throw into the can despite the hurt.  getting you out of my system simply means being able to think about you without the pinch and the tear-welling. maybe i keep you alive by making you my sounding board. pretend that you''re still on the other line.  should i ?  nahhh... it will make it harder to move on. 

dots

dots.  several uses --- dotting the I emphasises the Me, a dot ends a sentence because one either has nothing else to say or wants to move on to another idea, and several dots denote infinity or indicate something unfinished. 

so i have dotted the conversation with the falcon last night.  he has nothing else to say perhaps because he has lost interest, and if so, i have to move on.  thus, the dot.  painful but needed to keep my self- respect. did i put one dot or several?  the mind intended one but the heart drew a chain of dots.

now i am preparing to leave mongolia sans that feeling. in fact,rather raring to go. cambodia and mongolia for me, in fairness,  are not on the same league. how can one compare one year to 13 years of staying in a place.  one has become a home, while the other has proved to be simply a lay-over. 

there might just be, perhaps, something very special that mongolia will hold for me...but that is something that i hope to find out in the last two weeks remaining.  

that was a blast. the pinoys in mongolia's first ever open party, attended by close to 300 people less than 10% of who were pinoys, to celebrate the 111th philippine independence day on 14 June 2009 at the star apartments community center.

doubling as a fund raiser for the good shepherd parish in ulaanbaatar, we raked in more than 3.6 million tugriks  including donations from generous individuals.

it was a challenge to organize the event, lacking as we were with the necessary materials, hands and funds.

a barrio fiesta atmosphere nonetheless was approximated -- lechon kawali in lieu of a whole roasted piggy, light wood dos por dos in lieu of bamboo for the tinikling, styro bahay kubo (nipa hut) facade. strung and hung the banderitas, served the ubiquitous chicken adobo, rice, tokwa with togue and veggie sotanghon for the non-meat eaters, biko and mango juice.

guests were entertained with folk dances -- itik-itik, kappa malong, pandanggo sa ilaw, tinikling -- and got everyone grooving to the opm music of the boracay-based pinoy band who took off from their regular gig at strings. tinikling was such a hit ("awesome" !) that many brave souls from the audience tried. no casualty, thank heavens!

there was too a mini tianggue where sold were embotido, tapa, tocino, pearl trinkets and other blings. raffle prizes that were put up by marn    et for those who bought buy-a-brick tickets (for the church's fence) were added incentives. the "philippine libations" pack, consisting of tanduay rhum, ginebra san miguel, ginger tea powder, sumatra blend tobaccos and cebu dried mangoes was particularly inventive.

unanimous, hands-down, no contest verdict : indeed the "philippinos" definitely know how to throw one helluva  fantabulous parteehh!! ..... and when might the next one be?

can't end this post without being showbiz --- we would like to thank our sponsors ... and the rolling credits.

the pinoy community in mongolee is small, give or take 100 persons. many of them gave their best, within respective abilities and limitations, to make the party rock. to them -- dancers and choreographers, creatives, the strings pinoy band, gate keepers, food table supervisors, buy-a-brick ticket minders, trinket seller, deli supplier  --  HUGE APPRECIATION. 

meantime we do have to mention special people: Marnet, who pursued, glued and coordinated, Fr. Ronald and the girls from the Good Shepherd for responding to tough logistical needs, Louise and John from the US Embassy for facilitating the use of the venue and security as well as the cash bar, Ms Delia B from far Egypt but whose spirit of solidarity reached UB in $$$.

then of course our gratitude to other Pinoys and non-Pinoy friends who celebrated with us, such as the Chingeltei District Health Unit who came in full force, Roni's Mongolian colleagues who drove all the way from Darkhan, Ambassador Patrick Chrismasant of France who charmingly beamed at the dancers, Swiss Consul Markus Dubach who honored us by wearing a barong tagalog and his wife Gertrude who gamely dared put her dainty feet in between the tinikling poles.

muchas gracias y salud!